Friday, June 05, 2020

Making of KAN - Kathai Alla Nijam (Short Film)


Four years back on the same day, I uploaded the short film KAN - Kathai Alla Nijam. I have made a video on the "Making of KAN". If you have not seen the short film yet, check it out in the below link. 


Before sharing the Making video, I thought I will share my experience and journey. "Enna da ivan, oru super dooper padam edutha maari build up kudukarane"nu neenga nenaikalam. Apadi onnum superaana short film nu solla mudiyathu but the experience I went through in making of the film was nice. For any one who starts with the first short film or who is planning to shoot the first short film, this would definitely be a learning and for my near and dear ones it would be a memory (including me). If you are not interested in this experience, you can watch the Making video alone (below), others please scroll through and read the rest.



Here goes the experience and the journey ...

It was 2013, when they announced a short film competition in Vijay TV as part of their 7th Annual Award. They had given 3 topics First Love’, ‘Man and Woman’, ‘Journey Back Home’ and I chose "First love". Due to the short time for the submission date, I thought of using the existing story of a blogger friend Subramani Dharmar. I got his permission, made slight changes to his story and wrote the screenplay. My brother Nagesh helped me in reviewing & editing the dialogues. I named it as "Kathia Alla Nijam" title resembling one of the programs that happened in Vijay TV just to attract them. I went around in train to find out shooting spots as the script requires scenes to be shot in Railway Station. Bala, one of my friend accompanied me and we took the train from Tambaram towards Chengalpattu. Noted down few stations where we could shoot the film, Polichalur station which was closer to SRM was one of the station which I thought I could use it. Another station was St. Thomas Mount. I also explored the MRTS stations. I was trying to reach out to contacts for a good cinematographer, editor. My hard luck, whoever the contact I was trying to reach they were also working for the same competition. As I didn't get contacts I shelved the project.

After few weeks, through one of the contact one person called me and said he is very eager for acting in that short film. He introduced himself as Raagav and he appreciated the script a lot. Special thanks to him because he was so much interested and it was with his help that we moved ahead a lot. Through him I got a contact for handling the camera Pradeep who was in Tiruvottiyur. I went all the way to Tiruvottiyur to meet Pradeep and discuss about the script. He along with few people had gathered in a small house on 1st floor, was watching a foreign film in projector with the whole place in dark. I went and sat at the last. The film got over in about 10 mins and then they switched on the light. There was one elderly person about 45-50 and he started asking questions about the film. I was just sitting and observing the conversation. Once the conversation got over, I met Pradeep and his master. Explained the script to both of them. Later had another discussion with Pradeep alone. He was suggesting me to work on the details of the script with respect to camera angle. He asked if I have done the Story Board, but I hadnt. He said there are some softwares, but at the least he suggested to take photos for every scene as to how I wanted it. Basically i had to create the story with photos first. That was a lesson that I learnt that day. 

Raagav was very much excited, infact more than me. He shared a list of small time models for the heroine character. Meanwhile, one of his friend's cousin Saranya who was working in Cognizant was interested in acting. We asked her to come over to Velacherry MRTS railway station (That was a much better station to shoot). Explained the story, screenplay to Saranya. Raagav also listened to it one more time. Then as per Pradeep (Cinematographer) suggestion we did photo shoot for every scene. This really gave a very good idea for me to shoot the film. Next day, Raagav and I alone went to the Velacheery MRTS railway station again to do some photoshoots for his portion alone. We also travelled to couple of stations to see if they were better. 

Next hurdle was the shooting permission. Normally we need permission to shoot in public place. Railway stations belong to central government and that added more difficulties. Again Raagav was the saviour, he gave a contact of a person Karthik who teaches in MGR film studio for the DFT students. Karthik had studied DFT and became a lecture there itself. DFT students have an option to get permission using their bonafide document template and this would be a final year project for them. So Karthik referred one of the student. But the problem is I have to put the student's name as director and myself as Assistant director. I was fine with that. They have to fill in the details like the station name, date and time when the shoot would be and then go to central railway station and get a seal & signature. We were all set to start the shoot and was waiting for the guy to submit & get the permission. But then he was not reachable and not traceable. This delayed our shoot. Then Karthik assigned another student. When that guy when to central station, they told him that they no longer grant permission in the DFT bonafide format and that the format has changed. So he came back without permission. After that I got busy with office project and Raagav got a feature film opportunity. 

Years passed by. In 2015, there was this competition by Pepsi as they were the main sponsor for IPL. They called it as Crash the Pepsi IPL. Winners would get chance to watch the finals in the stadium. Work was relatively less pressure and I thought of capitalizing this opportunity. I made 3 ads (all of it are available in this blog). This again boosted my confidence. In 2016, I was out of project and decided to pick the short film from where I left. Raagav was not in touch so thought of working with one of my office colleague. First choice was Yugesh as the lead actor and for cinematography I thought will get help from Tamil, who was good at photography and had a DSLR camera. Rajesh JC was the second choice for the lead actor. Raji (Rajalakshmi) who had left Thirdware (she was getting married) sometime back came to office to talk to admin for some purpose. The moment I saw her I thought she would be the right candidate for the stranger girl. I asked her if she was willing and she straight away noded yes without any reluctance. Now I still needed one more girl (only 3 characters involved in the script). One of the weekend, I went to my friend's place Rajiv Menon, who was good at music composition to ask if he would be ready to work on the BGM for my short film. He was no more composing music but was into a business by that time (recording cutomized musical note for the people who buy cars), he had tied up with couple of auto dealers. I told the script and his wife was excited to play the 2nd girl's role. I had decided the roles but still the major problem of shooting permission in railway station was haunting me. I went and looked around deserted railway stations with help of Saran, thought we could shoot there without permission. They were really deserted but the problem was that they were also very dirty, there were so many shrubs grown and platform wasn't good enough. I also traveled to other stations like Korattur, Vyasarpadi junction and infact took couple of rounds from Central till Avadi back and forth. Then fixed one of the station Hindustan college where there was only one counter. So decided to shoot the film without permission, if anyone asks, thought will ask sorry and escape from the place. I also changed the first portion of the script to Bus stand instead of railway station, the 2nd portion however had scenes in railway station. For bus stop scenes, Saran again gave a beautiful location in Korattur. 

Decided on the date for bus stop shoot, since yugesh was not available... fixed Rajesh JC. So all 3 of us Rajesh, Rajalakshmi and I went to korattur, little interior. I took my panasonic lumix FZ35 (thanks to Sankaraman who suggested this camera while we were in the US in 2008-2009), my tripod and we went to the destination. I was still confused about where to keep the camera and what angle should I shoot, whole night this was running in my mind. Then decided to go with the flow. We tried to shoot the same scenes in multiple angles, front, side ways over the shoulder on both sides. For the first scene alone we took many attempts. There was lot of laughter as the actors were also not used to this. We didn't know how to ask the common people near the bus stand not to look at camera or to look at us. Few ignored us and that helped us but then there were couple of people who were just starring at us. We finished the shoot of bus stop scene by evening with Rajesh & Raji and winded up. Another weekend went to the Railway station with Rajesh, Suprita and Vijay (Tamil was not available, luckily Vijay had a DSLR too). We first finished the shots in the platform. Then boarded the train and took some shots in iphone 6s. While returning we took the same sequence once more time in a different angle, different seat. Similarly winded up the shoot by evening. I took couple of days (2 weekends) to do the complete editing myself using Adobe Premier. I searched for bgms, sounds on the net and used them at the appropriate places. We also went to a dubbing studio KV Media for professional dubbing (it costed around Rs 500 per hour). We went 3 diff days to dub for Rajesh, Raji and Suprita for their portions independantly and thats the only cost that I spent apart from food and snacks for the actors. Kathir from KV Media was professional in the dubbing and helped us a lot to dub properly. Later used the dubbed tracks in my editing and synchronized them. Finally uploaded the video on 5th June 2016 (fours years back). What an experience and journey. This wouldn't have happened without many people's support whose name I have included in this whole article. Thanks to all of them and to my family and close friends. I'm sure I will make it big one day and reading this will be nice recollecting the memories. Hope you liked reading this and so did I by sharing. Leave your comments, feedback if any, would really help me a lot. 

Saturday, May 02, 2020

The Fourth Dimension


One of the first story/concept/film idea that I wrote 17-18 years back... If you like science fiction, then you would like this one, check it out!!!
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Grrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnngggggg!!! Alarm rings. San wakes up lazily as though not wanting to get up, switches off the alarm and sees the time. OOOps 8:30. Normally he keeps the alarm for 6:00, and starts early to office at 7:30 itself though his timing is 9:30. He is shocked that the alarm timings are changed. Confused by that... throws back his bedsheet, gets up, rushes to the washroom and brushes his teeth. While brushing the teeth keeps starring at his face, just checking if everything is fine. Takes a quick bath, changes his clothes, gets ready in about 5 mins, takes the stair case down not even waiting for the lift to come. Gets into his car, starts it, raises the accelerator and Zoooooooooom he goes. Office security salutes him as he enters. Parks his vehicle, gets down the car and walks towards the lift. SHIT!!! he says to himself, realizing that he has forgotten his Rolex watch at home (Forgetting for the first time). His office is at the 10th floor, he is at the parking lot in the basement waiting for the lift. None of the lifts come to the basement and unusually it takes a longer time. And finally one lift comes down to the basement. He keeps his left leg on the lift and all of a sudden the whole place changes and he is standing on the edge of a wall that is on the terrace of an 80-storey building. If he steps his right leg, then he would fall off the building. He is shocked and it takes his breath and there goes a high frequency sound... Grrrrrriiiiiiiiinnnngggggg!!! San jumps from the bed and stops the alarm. He sits on the bed with eyes wide-open for couple of seconds, not able to accept that it was a dream, as it looked so real. Then he sees the alarm timepiece and is shocked all the more. The reason is... the time shows sharp 8:30

[The clock is slowly focused and then the movie title appears “THE FOURTH DIMENSION”]

San is still not able to get over, as the clock showed 8:30 just as it was in his REAL DREAM.  He gets up and then goes to the washroom. As he washes his face, he keeps starring to check if things were fine.  He changes clothes in similar fashion as in dream, gets ready and goes out to catch the lift. Power goes off and so he is forced to take the stairs, which again resembles the dream.  He is sensitive about the things happening, doesn’t want to repeat what happened in dream and so forces him to go against it.  So avoids the car and hires a cab, reaches office. As expected, the lift takes a longer time, which adds to his fear.  He takes a deep breath and then enters the lift, nothing happens.. Huh!!! a big relief.  Once he starts working, he forgets the world. 

[The story moves on as we show some more dreams that look so real which confuses San as well as the viewers]

Things get worse where San falls into imagination world. Even while working, suddenly he is sitting in some other place doing something else. Takes some time to come to reality.  He is disturbed with this dream world, imagination world and the real world. This affects his work and everyone notices that there is some difference in him. He keeps talking to himself and realizes it only when group of people surround him and ask, What happened, whom are you talking with? 

He wants to get rid of this and so decides to meet up a Dr. He finds an address of a clinic in a newspaper, makes a note of it. Calls up and fixes an appointment. From office, he leaves to the clinic directly.  Meets the Dr, but hesitates to tell him the issue, just requests for a complete master checkup.  Dr does take all the tests and then asks him to come the next day.  San meets him the next day and finds that there is absolutely no issue with his physical fitness. Dr then asks him what’s the problem exactly and why did he go for a complete checkup. San reluctantly says that he has a problem with DREAMS. The Dr laughs at him and says what is the problem if you get dreams, it is very normal and you need not worry about it. Later San explains the dream he gets and how real they were and their relation with his real time life. Dr does understand his problem and refers to meet his psychiatrist friend.

San then gets in touch with the psychiatrist and explains his problem that he is not able to differentiate between the real and the dream. Initially psychiatrist thinks that there is some psychological issue with him. He helps him to differentiate between the dream and the real. Tells him to note down or mark things that happen in real so that he can make out the difference easily. San feels better as he keeps meeting up the psychiatrist regularly and shares his experience on a daily basis. 

Things go fine until one day when San faces another worse situation. He sees a place in his dream and amused that he finds that place in real. He has never been to that place earlier. Shocked by it, bunks office and goes directly to psychiatrist place.  Psychiatrist is at a discussion with his friend who is a famous scientist. Not even asking an excuse, san directly drops in and starts telling about his dream to the psychiatrist. He calms him down, and asks him to relax. Suggests getting some sleeping pills so that he has good sleep.  After San leaves, out of curiosity Scientist asks about him. Psychiatrist explains his problem and says he has never seen such a case in his life. At times he feels that the issue is with San, but he brings some proofs, which confuses.  Scientist, who is doing a research on Time and Space, says that this case is quite interesting and that it is something related to his study. So he requests for the details from the psychiatrist. Takes it along with him. Does a detail study. He even follows San, to find if he is bluffing or really in some trouble.  Notes down the places that San had mentioned in his records, searches for the places. Searches the net on similar case studies. After a detailed research finds that San is able to see the FOURTH DIMENSION.  Explains the same to the psychiatrist.  They both call up San to explain his problem. 

Scientist tells San that he is in the Fourth Dimension or in other words he can see the Fourth Dimension.  He blinks and stares at psychiatrist as though not able to understand what he is referring to.  Scientist asks San  "How many dimensions do you know?" San replies that he has heard of 2D and 3D in maths in school days and he hated maths to the core.  He says that there are N-Dimensions in the world and human beings can visualize only 3 dimensions out of it. 


He starts of with explaining the basics of dimension.  Any object which has two parameters such as length and breadth or which can be represented in a single plane is called as two-dimensional object. Any object in 2D can be plotted graphically with 2 axis both perpendicular to each other. We all know that some examples of 2D object are Circle, Square, Rectangle, Cartoon images etc.  When it comes to 3D, another parameter is required and graphically another axis perpendicular to both of the existing axis should be possible.  Examples of 3D objects are Cube, Ball, any object that we use like pen, box, TV, cycle and infact we humans are also 3D objects. He explains all these with help of diagrams.


In the 3D axis diagram, we have to visualize the Z-axis perpendicular to X and Y, which means Z-axis should be protruding vertically outside the screen. Now to represent a 4D object we have to draw another axis perpendicular to all 3 X, Y and Z, which is not possible. Means 4th axis drawn would be parallel to any of the three, which says that it is not another unique axis. So we have to imagine a virtual axis (that doesn’t exist). In simple words, think of "TIME" as the 4th and the virtual axis. Any 3D object moving across time is said to be in the 4th Dimension.



Now frustrated san looses his temper and shouts at his voice "What does this got to do with my problem?"

Relax!!! says the scientist and asks him to have some patience. "What I’m about to say may be little complicated and confusing and that’s why explaining it from the basics.

He continues, Universally, TIME is been accepted as the 4th Dimension. We being objects of 3 dimensions are living in a 4th Dimension world too but unfortunately we will not be able to see ourselves in that.  In a 3D object we can plot a point, which can act in multiple axis at the same time.  For example, see the below cube that is formed by 2 planes A and B.  The 2 planes A and B are joined in 2 different formats to get 2 objects in different positions. A point plotted in the plane A, can be at the rear side of the cube as in Figure II and at the same time it can be at the top of the cube as in Figure III.

Similarly, we (humans) the objects of the 4th dimension (TIME) can be part of different world at the any given point of time or be part of the same world at different time (past + current  + future).  

Means, 
You can be sitting here and listening to me and at the same time, driving a car in a different world in some other planet 
(Or) 
You can be doing some fieldwork in 1200 BC and at the same time listening to me in 2050.

Coming closer to your problem, you have 3 kinds of issues: -
  1. By birth or by gene you normally get more dreams than any one.
  2. You also tend to get into imaginations easily
  3. Apart from these 2, you also live in multiple worlds. 
First two points is common to most of them, while the 3rd point is unique and you are a living proof for my research.  If we analyze this is something related to Time travel but not exactly. In time travel, people travel to that current period in time. But in your case you are living in multiple worlds at the same time. Which means, you live in the past & current or future & current at the same time. For you these different period in time has coincided. Here are the proofs

Saying that he keeps the documents which contains places that San described, the things and the activities that he saw there and proof for the existence of such place.

San is not able to digest what the scientist said.  He is all the more confused and not convinced, he shouts, No, No I don’t believe all these crap and walks out from the place even without giving a ear to them.  Both scientist and the psychiatrist try calling him "San", "San"... "wait". But he takes his car and drives straight to his house.  

San takes break from his work and goes on a vacation. He still gets the dream, imagination not able to differentiate. After the previous meeting, he decides not to meet the psychiatrist. But he was feeling better as per his suggestion and medication. Few days pass by and things get worse. He is not able control his emotions. Keeps talking to himself and acts funny on the road. People watch him and later he sees that for himself and is very much affected. Then thinks, what if it is true whatever the scientist said? He also patiently looks at some of the documents, the places. Searches the net to confirm things. Decides to meet them again, to seek their help to come over this.

[Highlight of the movie]
Gets into his car, droves directly to the psychiatrist’s clinic.  To his amusement, the whole place looks changed. He clearly remembers the route but is not able to find the building. Verifies with some near by people for that building. People tell him that the government has proposed to demolish the existing one and construct a building and that is something to similar which he has explained. He tries to check with people about the psychiatrist and the scientist. But there is no one with that name. San is shocked, rushes to the Dr who actually referred this psychiatrist. Neither the Dr nor his clinic exists.

San realizes that the Dr, Psychiatrist and the Scientist were living 2050 while he is in 2010. He was able to see himself at that time and it has overlapped with his current time.

He gets confirmed what they said was true!!!

He is able to see 

THE FOURTH DIMENSION

Saturday, April 25, 2020

The Pursuit of HappYness

Chennai Airport, Departure 


My heart was heavy as I was saying bye to my parents, wife and my lovely daughter Diya. I could see my wife in tears, we have never been separated for more than a week. This time it’s going to be 2 months trip and my first time outside India. I checked-in the bags and one of them was weighing around 28Kgs and so I had to do some shuffling, shifting. Since this was my first long trip, my wife loaded me with lot of snacks and groceries. I had to get rid of few things before I finally checked-in. I was sweating like hell in spite of the cold air inside the Airport. Then I got my boarding passes, waved a final bye once again and then entered the Emigration check. 

Emigration Officer: "Sir, Your name please"

Flash back…


"My Name Wignesh (no not V -Vignesh, but W -Wignesh). I'm native Walajabad and my dream is go Washington DC." As I was introducing myself on the first day of my college, the whole classroom burst into laughter with my English. 

Officer : (Bangs the table) Excuse me Sir, I asked your name?

Me  : Oh Sorry its Wignesh - Wignesh Balasubramanian 

Officer : (Looking at the passport and staring at me) Where are you going?

Me : US

Officer : Purpose of Visit?

Me : It’s for a Software Requirement Study

Officer : (Stamps a seal on the passport and gives it back to me)

Me : Thank you


Everything was new to me since this was first time. I had to enter the security check. I was struggling a bit and just followed whatever others were doing, putting the handbags for screening, entering the metal detector, standing up with raised arms on the sides. Once it was over, I was wandering around the airport for sometime, until I found the Gate 23. I went there and took a corner seat. I still had about an hour and a half for the Departure. 

As I sat there, my memories started to rewind back. I was 15 when I first heard about Washington. I used to play with the Street Friends, there were couple of them, but Naveen was different. He was rich, really rich; his father was doing many businesses. Unlike his family we were just middle class, I should say lower middle class. My father was working as a lab assistant in the SIVET College. Though we had an own house, it was very small. One day after playing Naveen called me to his house, initially I was reluctant since my father would scold me but then he caught my hands and pulled me to his house. The moment I entered, I was dumb stuck. They had a very big house, huge garden like a park, nice sofa and big TV. We never had TV at home and I couldn’t take my eyes of the TV. He was telling a lot of stories about his family, father, and house. He told me that he has an uncle in America, Washington DC. At that moment, seeing this big house and hearing the news about Washington, it got deep inside me. I wanted to see how Washington would be. A dream started to develop within me. This part of my life was called "Dreaming"

Hey Wignesh, (someone tapped me from behind) - how are you?

Me    : Hey Deva, What a surprise I'm good, how are you? 

Deva : Good, Good. After long time right, so where are you working?

Me   : I'm working in a company called Fourthware Technology Solutions as a Sr Programmer... And you are with, CTS right?

Deva : That was 2 years back, now I'm a Delivery Manager in Accenture. 

Me         : Oh is it?

Deva : Yep. So finally you got a chance to go abroad is it, fantastic. Where are you going?

Me    : Yeah, I did (I was telling inside my mind - I bet you thought I would never travel onsite). I’m going to New York and then Washington. And You?

Deva : Wow, cool. I'm going to South Africa.


We had a chat for about 10 minutes and then he had to leave for his flight. Devanathan was my MCA colleague in S.I.V.E.T College (SOUTH INDIA VANIAR EDUCATION TRUST). All of my MCA colleagues are well settled in high post, few of them probably Directors by now. My story was different. I first touched computer only in MCA. I wouldn’t have even taken MCA if it was not for my professor Ramalingam. 


I studied in Tamil Medium till 12th and got BSc Physics seat in SIVET through our Vaniar caste quota. It was very hard for me, Learning everything in Tamil for 14 years and suddenly shifting to English medium. Though we had a separate subject English in school, neither was it taught to us well nor did we study it good.  I still remember the first day of my college. I entered the college wearing a normal old shirt, tucked out, simple trouser and just slipper. My hair was oiled well, nicely combed, with vibuthi on the forehead looking like a typical “Gnana Pazham”. That’s how people like me are called. He asked each one of them to introduce themselves and what was their goal in life. I was so nervous about talking in English and when my turn came, this is what I said "My Name Wignesh (no not V -Vignesh, but W -Wignesh). I'm native Walajabad and my dream is go Washington DC." The whole classroom burst into laughter with my English. After the personal introduction, Ramalingam sir started the first day with some topics on Dynamics. I didn’t understand a bit of word. There were many simple words which I couldn’t understand. I was totally blind, everything was Greek and Latin. Probably I should say everything was English, after all english was greek and latin for me. After the class he called me separately and asked what I understood. I nodded my head left-right. Then he asked if I was from the Tamil medium. I said yes. Then he gave me some notes as a short summary of what he took that day. He asked me to study only that which should help me clearing the subject. You won’t believe that he gave me these notes every single day for the whole year. This not only helped me to understand the subject easily but also improved my English. My father was working in the same college and we used to travel together by cycle and then train. It took 2 hours to reach college, and when sometimes (probably should say it many times) students would strike they would declare it a holiday. However I had to wait for my father till the evening. I utilized that time to sit in the college ground for studying. I studied a lot, I learnt English, worked really hard. This part of my life was called "Learning English"



"May I have your attention please, Ladies and Gentleman this is the final announcement for Flight No QR 277 Chennai to Doha is ready for Boarding at Gate 23". 




I was disturbed by the Flight Announcement. The Flight was from Chennai to Doha and then Doha to JFK, NY. It was a connecting flight and it was a direct check in, so I just needed to collect my checked-in baggages in NY. There was a meeting for 1 week in NY and then the rest of it in Washington. Took my handbag and backpack, gave the boarding pass to the officer and stepped into the Flight for the first time. As I was entering, the Air hostess was asking my boarding pass to check the seat no and guided me the path. I asked the check in officer especially for a window seat since this my first travel and was waiting to see the take off. My Seat was 35 A, near the rear of the flight. I was looking on the numbers as I walked, finally found the seat, kept my bags on the top deck. Sat on the window seat and then took a deep breath. It was a four hour flight to Doha, then a transit for 1.30 hrs and then another 14 hours from Doha to NY. “Huh! It’s really a long journey”, I was telling to myself. The captain announced that there is going to be some delay due to air traffic but will make up the time in the air.

As I rested, my mind went again to the flash back. From the 2nd year I was able to write at the speed of professor's dictation and so didn’t take the short notes from him. At the end of 3 years, I scored 71% and was college topper. It was that time MCA course was introduced and professor Ramalingam looking at my marks spoke to my father to get me a MCA seat. The course fee was 10,000 per semester and my father said he cannot afford it. Ramalingam sir somehow convinced my father saying that I might get 50% scholarship from the college. My father was very stingy but he had no other option since he had to save each and every penny he earned. One thing which I didn’t like was that he used to tell me everyday about spending so much for me for MCA. 

Thanks to Ramalingam Sir, that’s how I joined MCA in the same college. It’s been 13 years now since I finished MCA but whenever I meet him, he says he is very proud of me and quotes me as an example to all the students.  An example of how a student from a Tamil medium can make it to the top of the class. I was honored by his words and felt so happy that I have saved his name for the trust he had with me. 

The Air hostess came around and gave some candies. Then they started explaining the safety measures in the flight. After an hour delay, the flight started to take off. I was just peeping through the window to see the flight moving slowly to runway. Then after few minutes, it started to move with full speed and just took off. It was awesome!!! As it climbed and tilted a bit, I could see the Chennai airport, the buildings all becoming tiny little just like a circuit board. Once the flight reached a height, the seat belt sign was switched off.  They started serving breakfast and I asked for a vegetarian meal.  As I switched on the mini TV screen in front, it reminded me the first day in MCA when I learnt to switch on the computer

Yes! I saw this machine called “Computer” for the first time in my life and I didn’t even know how to switch it on, When most of the guys in the class were already programmers by that time. I was sitting in front of the computer blinking at it for a while when one of the lecturer came and switched it on for me. That’s when I knew how to switch it on. Most of them in the class had done BSc Computer Science and were aware of most of the subjects. Exams were like a cake walk for them since the syllabus was almost the same like their bachelor’s degree. But I had to start it from the beginning. I was still wearing simple old clothes and slippers while the others were all modern youth with stylish t-shirts and rich English. They all looked at me like an insect in the class. It was very painful for me to get along. It took some time and people slowly started moving with me but they were still much advanced practically while I was still reading the theories. I wanted to prove something to these guys, that I’m better than them in someway.  At the end of MCA, everyone had at least one arrear in the 3 years except me and that was one thing I could add to my collar. This part of my life was called “Learning Computer”

I remember only switching on the mini TV but had fallen asleep due to tiredness.  I was woken up by the announcement again saying that we will be reaching Doha in another 30 minutes. I went to the restroom to fresh up and there was already a queue. After freshening up, came back to seat and in few minutes the flight landed in Doha. After getting down, we realized that the delay was not covered up and so we had missed the connecting flight. Qatar airways said they will arrange an alternative and asked us to be patient. After sometime, they said they have arranged an alternative flight Doha to London through Qatar Airways and then London to JFK through British Airways. However that flight was after 5 hours. We had no choice other than to wait for it. They did arrange for a compliment breakfast in the Airport. I happen to meet couple of Indian people who were also travelling to US. A father and her 5 yr old daughter who was permanent resident in the US, was travelling back after a vacation. Two young guys from CTS just like me but travelling on a L1 visa. There was a lady who was bit restless since her husband was suppose to pick her up in Texas and she already change 2 flights. There was an old couple, parents going to US for their daughter’s delivery. We all had the breakfast together and were getting to know each other. 

As we were eating together, it reminded me about the lunch we used to have at my work place with the colleagues. I should first start with how I got my first job. After finishing MCA most of my classmates got good opportunities but I was struggling even to do the Project for last semester. Like I said earlier since most of them were from BSc Computer science background doing project was nothing new. They all did a real time project in different companies and also got job the same one after completing MCA. I somehow managed to do a simple project Payroll System on my own in C programming language. After completing MCA, I went for a lot of interviews and failed. Main reason was the English speaking skills. Though I learned English by the time I finished BSc I wasn’t good enough with the spoken language, I was stammering a lot, searching for words and speaking broken English. That was one major bottleneck for me to clear the interviews. I got a job after almost a year in a small company in T.Nagar. This company was into Share Market brokerage and had some applications in Visual Basic. That’s the place I started learning VB. But again to come to work place it used to take 2 to 3 hours. I slogged like a dog learning and working. By 1 year I was good in enough in VB and I became one of the key developers in the team. Share market was so sensitive and some of the applications we developed used to generate reports every minute, every second. Our application became the TV for stock brokers. I was very happy about it since I was occupied and was glad that I was in a job. This part of my life was called “Slogging”

Four years passed, didn’t even know how time flied. Work got so tight that at one point was working 14 hours a day and never had rest on the weekends as well. I got a bit sick with same monotonous work and wanted a change very badly. When I started to think about new job, the fear of facing interview scared me. After so many years the only thing I was good at is the application we developed. I was a master in it but my English was still the same and didn’t improve it a bit. My Boss was not leaving me and on one day a discussion led to a hot argument and I told him upfront I’m quitting the company. I didn’t wait for his answer but just told him and left the place. I didn’t inform anyone at home that I left the job, I was afraid to say. So I was packing lunch and starting from home as usual but didn’t go to the office, instead was roaming around Chennai city. I thought of making use of this time to prepare technically for the interviews. Most of the time I spent in Panagal Park, reading notes, having lunch there, sleeping for few hours, reading again and then back to home. I tried attending couple of interviews but failed in all of them ☹. For some of the questions, I didn’t understand what they actually expected and for some questions even though I knew the answers, I couldn’t explain it clearly. I was back to the park and continued the preparation. 

It was even more painful when I reached out to couple of my MCA friends asking them for openings. I sent email to many of them and no one replied back. Then I thought of calling them or meeting them personally. Nanda was the immediate choice since we both used to travel together in the train everyday from home to college. He was working as a project lead in a reputed company and his office was close to mine in T-Nagar. I went to his office and called him. He didn’t pick the phone. I tried this for couple of days. Finally he picked up one day but said that he is busy, and asked if there was anything urgent. I said “Nothing urgent da, but I just lost my job and looking for some other”. He said he will call me later in the evening, but he didn’t. I felt bad to call again & again so left it like that. As I was walking back to the park, it reminded me about one of the college days when he purposely didn’t take ticket in the train. Our bad time when we got down, the Ticket checking inspector asked for tickets and he started running away. But then was caught by some constables and they started inquiring us for a long time. I explained to them that he is not such a guy and just forgot to take ticket. I knew they were expecting some money and so I just took all the money I had, from purse, from bag, all the rupees and even the coins. Whatever I had, I just took everything and put it on the table and said “Sir, please we wont do like this after. Help us”. They took the money and left us. Nanda was in tears, hugged me n said “Thanks da, I will not forget this help. If father knows about it, I’m screwed”. I said its ok da, after all you are my friend and you don’t have to thank me. 

I tried calling Prem, and he did pick up. We decided to meet up for lunch in one of the restaurant in Adayar. I used to give my salary to my father and get money from him only for travel to bus and train. So I had to think about spending money for everything. I took a bus to Adayar, waited for him in the restaurant. He came after 30 mins and we started eating. I explained him my situation that I left the current job and looking for a new one. He scolded me for quitting before I had an offer in hand. I told him how much I was frustrated. His company was into Software testing and he was a Sr Test Engineer. He said that there were no openings at that time but will let me know. Later he was inquiring me for a fresher opening in my company for his brother who just graduated. I said I can refer him, no issues. He just had food quickly and then started soon since he had some meeting. He didn’t even pay for the lunch so I had to pay it. Normally I would bring lunch or would have had at a cheaper place but since he called I came to his place. I spent about 300 for both of us which is one week expense for me. I did refer his brother through one of my colleague but he never called me after that. After few weeks I happen to see the classifieds and was surprised to see there were openings in his company. I felt very bad that he didn’t let me know and was still guessing why he did so. 

Raja broke his arm while playing cricket for the college team. We had our practical exams and he had lot of pending assignments to be completed. He actually skipped the practical’s giving the game as excuse. After he got injured he couldn’t represent the college team and so he had no excuse other than to complete the assignments. He asked me if I could help him and without any hesitation I wrote all the assignments for him. It took 4 days totally to write all of them. I thought he would definitely help me and reached to him. He was exactly travelling to US that time and called me for a treat. It was in the treat I met my colleague who told me that he has joined Raja’s company with his help. He was also asking if Raja didn’t help me. Raja knew I was jobless but I didn’t tell him in detail. When he helped my colleague I was disappointed that he didn’t even care about me. 

Saravanan shifted his career and he was into some real estate business. Obviously I could not go to him since he was not in IT. He was from my same caste and so very close to my family. During the same time, I heard he was going to get married. He was coming to our hometown for inviting and I was expecting him. But he didn’t invite us, I was shocked, surprised and disappointed.

These interview failures and all friends ditching me made my morale down and I started to feel very pathetic about myself. This continued for around 45 days. “This part of my life is called worst part of my life”

Our 5 hours wait time was over and we boarded the Flight to London. This time I did watch couple of movies. Slept for couple of hours and also went to my imagination world. 

I didn’t know why my friends didn’t help me and I didn’t even wanted to know but of course I was disappointed. When I helped them, I never expected them to do a favor in back but when I was really in need of them, not a single one was helping me nor even guiding me. I couldn’t hide the fact that I left the job at home for more than a month since I had to give the salary. Surprisingly my father didn’t scold me and he asked me to keep trying without loosing hope. That gave me a confidence and started to read on spoken English. My father also asked me to join some English speaking course. It was a coincidence that one of the astrologers said to my mom that my time was bad and it would be fine after 45 days. Exactly after 45 days, my boss called me again apologized and said that I can work until I get some other job. It was too hard for me when such a person apologized to me. And moreover since he didn’t stop me from looking out, I went back to the same company. I had to shift from Walajabad to a small room in Chennai along with few colleagues. I continued another 3 years in the same company. 


The transit from London was short and we boarded the flight to NY. This time I fully slept and was damn tired. I didn’t eat, didn’t watch movie but just laid asleep in my seat. It was just before the landing that I got up. I was eagerly waiting to step my foot into US. Before that you should know about the last leg of how I got this chance.

After my marriage, my wife posted my resume in different companies. It was through one of such email that I got an offer in “Fourthware Technology Solutions”. I managed to clear the technical round with my improved English. It was a bigger challenge in terms of handling international clients. This helped me a lot in improving my fluency. After a year, I got an opportunity to travel for a Business Requirement Study for one of the application. Yes finally my dream was going to be fulfilled….


Washington!!! Here I come … 

This part of my life is called “Pursuit of HappYness”

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